Monthly Archives: August 2016

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

That is the title of a rather unremarkable movie with a brilliant name. It comes to mind because it’s a great description of what I’ve experienced in the past week or so, after a two week road trip to Arizona, up and down both sides of Groom Lake and Area 51 and only ¬†three UFO sightings

Sketchbook airship

Illudian “Andromeda class” heavy battle cruiser

. I’m not saying I was abducted, but I can defrost frozen food with my mind and make Google cars crash.

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One of a kind . . .

IMG_0082

This is my Macbook Pro. Those who know me aren’t surprised, but who else wraps their laptop in leather then draws a Steampunk airship on it?

I worked on the production of the movie, “Bladerunner,” building the Spinner, the flying car in the movie. Then, as support for the car, in case it broke something, I and a few others were allowed on the Burbank studio set during the filming of a half dozen scenes. Directed by Ridley Scott, he ordered Harrison Ford and Rutger Hauer around like schoolboys, filling the roll of God quite well.

At the end of filming, all the props were put in a warehouse, among them, the advertising blimp that floated over the city in the movie. On the top, where cameras could not see, filming from below, were written the words that summed up what we came to call, “The Ridley Effect.”

“Ridley Is God.”

For no reason at all, I’ve wrapped my laptop in leather, top, bottom and edges, and created my autographed tribute to Ridley Scott, whom I deeply admire. Now I’m offering my one-of-a-kind Macbook Pro, Ridley edition, for sale. You too can experience “The Ridley Effect.”

In many ways, this is the best of the 13 inch MacBooks because it is the late 2012 model actually manufactured in 2014, with Firewire, two USB ports, an SD card slot and the DVD. It has an upgraded 8MB of RAM and when sold, a brand new 500GB or larger hard drive will be installed with the latest OS and updates, a desktop image of the Spinner, and a file containing photos I took during the production, along with a brief story, other images of my illustrations and paintings, and my autobiography, “I Died But I Got Better.”

The laptop is in excellent condition and works like a new one, less than two years old since new, out of the box, with about four or five months of remaining “Applecare.” The battery is strong, the screen is clear and scratch free and this is the only one in the world bound in leather with a steampunk cartoon illustration tribute of “The Ridley Effect.”

The leather is deerskin that has been superglued to the aluminum case. The buyer must use the machine with a bit of care. The leather wrap will hold up under normal use but rough treatment will take its toll. In fact, I’ve had to re-glue a few places after stuffing it in my backpack a few times. It adds character to the hand-crafted look.

All ports, holes, vents and tiny blinking lights around the edge are open and visible, the leather having been carefully cut out for each. The bottom is covered but there is a cutout around the description and serial number. The asking price is $2000.

I didn’t create this laptop to sell it. I did it for my own enjoyment but have decided to sell to help get greater exposure of my other works, my writing, my illustrations and watercolors. Please share this with your friends, and visit www.vonprum.com to find out more about me and Fester Vermin. Wait! Who is Fester Vermin?

Contact me if interested or you have a comment. I will list this with more photos on Ebay and my Saatchi art site. Links are at vonprum.com

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I see dumb people

I don’t claim to be real smart. but how many times have you pushed your grocery cart to the exit, only to find a grandmother, or a young mother with a child, or an old fart with a cart full of beer, suddenly jackknife their shopping cart at the choke point at the exit to readjust their load. It’s not intentional. It’s not an angry response to your palatable impatience at the checkout line.

IQ does not seem to be a factor. I have seen mouth breathers and intellectuals alike, pause at the electric eye, automatic door opener to pause and suddenly decide to re-educate their children. The choke point at the automatic sliding doors is a great place to pause and wait for your partner.

How about the trendy clown who does not push his shopping cart from behind, where the handle is, but chooses to stand beside it and drag it along, blocking two-thirds of the oncoming shopping cart traffic. I’m coming the other way and we make eye contact. Ooh, oh, I’m the problem. Excuse me. If I had known you were coming, I would have stayed home.

Slow people in the fast lane on the freeway. Everybody; you can all write this chapter, so let’s move on.

“Is that a flat tire?” No, Skippy, that tire just has a deficiency of air pressure. The same gas station attendant might say, “Do you need gas?” No, Skippy, I came in for the elegant cuisine at the candy bar rack, and tie your shoe, will you?

You’ve seen them. They’re not evil, they’re just dumb. The worst part is that many of them will vote. No, hold on. It’s not ¬†just Republicans. You Dems are equally guilty and subject to believing anything that comes out of the mouth of a politician.

I take no political position. Now back to our regularly scheduled program.

A closed mind leads nowhere. An open mind can only lead to a greater understanding.

I’m just saying . . .

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The Most Interesting Man In Vancouver?

Self portrait

A good friend recently dubbed me “The most interesting man in Vancouver” and after a moment’s thought I concluded that he might be right. I’ve just redone my web site to explain this outrageous claim. Check it out and let me know what you think: www.vonprum.com

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My Trip To The Center of The Sun

I just got back from my thrip to the center of the sun. I drove my new car down to Arizona to see an old friend, go to Tombstone one more time and drove past both the east and west sides of Area 51 as I drove down and back.

The highlight of the trip was a railroad trip to the Grand Canyon. That and the three UFO sightings I had, all during daylight hours, so no, they were’t street lamps. I really was hoping for an alien abduction vacation to a warmer planet than the Northwest, at least in the winter when mold grows under your arms if you don’t shower and use bleach twice a day. It may have happened, but I don’t remember it. Maybe a memory implant of a trip to Mars, and I’m Arnold Swartenegger.

I’d loved to blog and paste photos of my trip as I went, but we all know about robmyhouse.com, don’t we? You don’t know about robmyhouse.com? Don’t take a trip until you know more, and park a Jeep in front of your door before you leave, and booby traps, but I digress.

I’ve had well over half a dozen unexplained sightings, the first, when I was about seven years old. They were all a variation of some sort of light in the sky, never anything more detailed or close. These were all very distant, until today. Don’t get excited. It wasn’t that close; at least that I can remember . . . Driving north on I5 in northern California, something caught my eye outside my driver door window. Two white or silvery discs, like a saucer upside down, flat on the bottom, steep sloping edges with a flat top. the two shapes shimmered and flickered and danced around one another in a haphazard pattern yet maintaining a space between them, two to three times their size. These were the size of a shirt button held at arm’s length. I had to keep my eye on the road, so I could only glance a look every second or so. The episode lasted about 30 seconds and I lost track of them. I did not see them vanish. I just did not see them on the last glance out the window.

I don’t know what it means. I offer no explanations. It’s what I saw. No drugs or alcohol were involved. I was wearing prescription polarized sunglasses that seem to make these things more visible. Reading that all back to myself sounds pretty clinical, but I want to remember this accurately.

If you just spend time outside and look up, sooner or later you’ll see something. I just spent 200 hours looking out of my windshield.!

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